12 Things During the Christmas Season

  1. Look with compassion, like Jesus. (Mark 5:24-34)

  2. Reach out during Christmas. (Galatians 6:2)

  3. Adjust your expectations. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

  4. Host an event. (1 Peter 4:9-11)

  5. Emphasize shared interests. (Hebrews 13:16)

  6. Plan creative activities to do together. (Ephesians 5:19)

  7. Love, listen, and laugh together. (Proverbs 2:2)

  8. Be mindful of words. (James 3:1-12)

  9. Be supportive in their treatment. (Philippians 2:4)

  10. Don’t place blame. (Galatians 6:5)

  11. It is not a sin to hurt. (Psalm 34:18)

  12. A season of understanding. (2 Peter 3:18)

Look with compassion, like Jesus. The New Testament is rich with Jesus’ compassion toward those on the fringes of society. This compassion is beautifully illustrated in the story of the bleeding woman. In the chaotic mob around Him, He felt her touch him. He stopped and showed her an unworldly compassion. He called her “daughter.” Jesus stopped whatever He was doing to serve her in love. Mark’s account of this story is very powerful and beautiful. (Mark 5:25-34)

Reach out to your loved one during the Christmas holiday. In Galatians 6:2, we are asked to bear each other’s burdens. This command is to be obeyed throughout the year, especially during the busy Christmas holiday time. The business of the season can blind us to the truth of Christmas. The magic of Christmas is not under a tree or in a stocking; it is that Jesus came down to dwell among us, to live as fully God and fully man, to save us from the punishment of sin. Avoid being too busy to care for whom Jesus cares.

Adjust your expectations. We all have lofty Christmas holiday plans for a perfect time to celebrate the joy of the season. Many times our plans are not according to His plans. These plans may or may not go according to our dreams. It may be time to quiet ourselves and refocus on the Word of God - Jesus. Proverbs 3:5-6 is an important verse during this season. Many around us are hurting and may not express themselves well. Many can’t express emotions well because of neurodevelopmental disorders like autism. Individuals with autism have difficulty showing gratitude, joy, and other emotions. 

Host an event. Be the hostess with the most-est! Invite your friend, but create a time that works around the idiosyncrasy of their condition. 1 Peter 4:9-11, explains how we are to act in grace without complaining and use gifts to serve one another. We need to put aside our wishes and needs to serve others. Rethink what the event should be to be welcoming to your friends and family who struggle during the Christmas season. Even if people are invited to holiday events, many shy away because of the chaos it creates for them. Some may accept but may not come at the last minute. They may not let you know. Please don’t take offense to this. 

Emphasize shared interests. Finding a shared interest will open a way to serve them without the anxieties associated with social events. We come together because our love for Jesus is foremost, but gathering in shared interests emphasizes our ability to serve one another in commonality. God made us all in His image but uniquely different in talents and interests. Sharing interests with those struggling during holidays shows loving compassion. Maybe our shared interests are not on the top of our “to do” list, but in serving others we put aside our wishes as illustrated in Hebrews 13:16.

Plan creative activities. Use your shared interest to plan a creative activity to share with your friend or family. There are many opportunities to gather over activities during the Christmas season. Gather to cook goodies, wrap gifts, decorate, do an advent devotional, or just have quiet, small dinner at your home. Think outside the box for this activity. The Christmas season is a busy time and slowing down with serving together is a great way to break the chaos of the year. We all get too blinded by the busyness and need to remind ourselves through Ephesians 5:19 to refocus on the reason for this season.

Love, listen, and laugh. An important part of walking along with your friend is to love, listen and laugh. Many times we love, but don’t listen. We may try to put our own mindset and experiences into our understanding of them. Each person has their own walk in our world. Each mentally ill person has their own walk. Although we have commonality, our differences can be hard for others to understand. If we train ourselves to listen, we will gain a better understanding of their struggles and blessings. Listening is a very difficult skill to master. As believers, we want to pray away suffering because no one wants to see others hurting, especially during Christmas. At times laughter is the best medicine. Proverbs is full of wisdom, but Proverbs 2:2 highlights the importance of a good ear.

Be mindful of words. Many of us unintentionally say things that are very damaging. Our words can cut like a sword. We may feel that we are being encouraged, but we can do the opposite - discourage. People with mental illness or neurodevelopmental disorders feel it hard to navigate language with the rest of the world. You may think it is a joke to call someone a “Grinch,” but that can be incredibly hurtful. James 3:1-12 talks about taming your tongue. These verses are a great warning about our words in every situation, especially with our friends who are afflicted.  

Be supportive in their treatment. Treatment is a very important aspect in the life of those with mental illness or neurodevelopmental disorders. During the Christmas season, many schedules are disrupted and missed appointments are unavoidable.  Encourage your friend to keep on track with appointments and medicine routines, but don’t act as their parole officer. Philippians 2:4, engages us to seek the interest of others.

Don’t place blame. Dealing with a friend struggling with mental illness or neurodevelopmental disorders during the Christmas holiday can be extremely difficult.  We need to be mindful of not only our words, but of blaming them for the difficulties. Many times your friend can be unaware of these difficulties. Look at them with compassion and don’t forsake them. John Newton, who wrote Amazing Grace, showed his friend, William Copwer, amazing grace during William’s crippling season of depression. John didn’t blame William for his affliction. Galatians 6:5 cautions us to take account of yourselves.

It is not a sin to hurt. Suffering, struggling, and sorrow is a topic weaved throughout the Bible. Jesus was a man of many sorrows. He was overwhelmingly rejected by His own people, even His earthy family. Sometimes, we lose focus on the meaning: Jesus came to suffer so that whoever repents and believes in Him will have everlasting life. We are immersed in the busyness of the Christmas holiday and miss the joy in the reason for the season. Our friends may not be as joyful as us during this time. God filled the Psalms with verses relating to hurting and His authority over hurting. Psalm 34:18 is a beautiful and simple reminder of this. 

A season of understanding. Lastly, let's take an opportunity to understand, which is the best way to break the stigma around mental illness and neurodevelopmental disorders. They don’t want to be fixed. They want to belong. We all belong in the body of Christ, the weak and the strong. Without both, our church community is not filled. (1 Corinthians 12:12) Truly understanding leads to belonging, not just inclusion or awareness. Look to 2 Peter 3:18 for encouragement in growing in grace toward the knowledge of Christ, who has all understanding and compassion.

If you can offer this kind of love and grace to those who really need it, yet may not be capable of returning, you will not only make a difference in their lives, but you will also grow to be more like Christ! Not a bad trade off!

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Five Things on My Christmas “Wish List” as a Mentally Ill Christian

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Debrief - Part 1