Bipolar is a Blessing!
Bipolar is a blessing from God, and I would not have it any other way. I would not give up the hardships, because that really has glorified God, using my mess for His message. What the world sees as a curse, God uses for his glory. I have been hospitalized for psychiatric crises seven times. It is not comfortable being on the psych ward. It is not fun to be in a manic state. God used all that time for His plan for me, because He created me wonderfully and perfectly for His plan.
Just like in John 9:1-3, the blind man didn’t sin; his family didn’t sin. God’s glory was revealed through that man’s disability. Mental illnesses are serious conditions with severe symptoms, but God makes no mistakes. It is mind boggling that He shows me before the creation of the world to be His child. He weaved me in my mother’s womb with all my talents and afflictions. He knows every hair on my head and every dark struggle. God created me to serve those to whom society turns a blind eye in order to reveal His glory to these marginalized people. He has covered my shame with the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ, to proclaim bipolar is a blessing.
People suffering with mental illness are thrown away by all parts of society, sadly even the church. But God wants us to reach out to those who are living in darkness. They are much more accepting of Satan‘s lies, and it hardens their hearts to understand God‘s love and grace. They are alone and isolated because they believe his lies and the stigma that they will never recover or be loved. I want them to know how their mental illness is a blessing not a curse. God created them wonderfully, like He created me.
What the world sees as a debilitating disease, God sees as beauty. Society wants to turn away from those suffering with mental illness. People don’t want to talk about mental illness. They just want to pass it by, ignore it, avoid it, and hope that they are never afflicted with it. The mentally ill suffer in the darkness of silence. They suffer even when surrounded by loved ones. They don’t understand the blessings God has given them with their mental illness. He has given me the boldness to proclaim bipolar is a blessing.
During my first trip to Ukraine in 2010, God revealed why I spent time in a psychiatric hospital. Sleeping in the orphanages’ guest rooms were a lot like the psych wards I had to spend time on. I was content with my surroundings even though they were worlds apart. Bipolar is a blessing because I can deal with jet lag easier. My sleep patterns are much more flexible than they would have been without that experience.
God blessed me with bipolar because I was able to relate to the children and the elderly hidden away from the rest of Ukraine. I could relate to the pain of silently suffering. They could see that I was different, but they could see God‘s love through me. God pushed me to speak boldly about my struggles in Ukraine. (Ukraine has a history of Soviets labeling people mentally ill as a punishment for dissension.) People were greatly accepting and impacted by the story God wrote for me. I got many messages of thanks. I got messages about how others were afraid to share but God used my words to encourage them. I met an older woman who worked in an asylum. She told me that God used my words to encourage her to share with the people she cared for.
I will wrestle with my bipolar until God calls me home, but being obedient toward God’s will has made me stable and content. I have not been in the hospital since 2007. I may be admitted in the future, but I am not deterred or fearful for that. These struggles that I have He uses for His plans for His kingdom. God gives me resilience through my bipolar. I don’t let the stigma from society deter me from being bold and unashamed of my bipolar and proclaiming it is a blessing. Sometimes, it is a roller coaster, or huge mess of disorganization, but God has His plan for His message through this.
Bipolar is a blessing. The struggles are a blessing. Everything from God is good and for His glory. (James 1:17-18) How humbling that He has allowed me to be a part of His Kingdom building. My life has been difficult and hard, but I would not trade it for the most famous luxurious comfortable lifestyle. Bipolar is a blessing for His Kingdom.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”