Hole
“Don’t underestimate the hole your absence would leave.”
Unspeakable symptoms that lead to fatal suicide is reality for many people suffering with mental health problems, especially serious conditions like bipolar and schizophrenia. Manic episodes are more likely to end in suicide than depressive episodes. Someone who is manic could be likened to a person on auto pilot, the compulsions are so great. They cannot even control any bodily function, let alone think clearly. They live in a state of delusion and grandeur. They're the only ones who can fix these things, but they have no control of the atrocities that fill their thoughts. If this bubble of perturbation bursts, you have left a hole that can’t be filled, that can’t be replaced. They may not think of this in their affliction, that people would actually care if they weren’t around. When someone is afflicted, they feel like a burden on people, emotionally, physically, and financially. A relationship with somebody with mental health problems is often one-sided.
A person’s affliction isolates them from people that love them and care for them.. People self medicate with drugs and alcohol or other things. Some people just withdraw. They don’t want to burden people with their manic episodes. At first, it’s fun to be around them. But their friends can’t go for that ride with them. They can’t stay up those hours going into the night. The further and further they get away from the reality of their circumstances, the closer they get to suicide. And then there’s the hole that they leave. The hole that may never heal. The hole that may never be filled. They may put a hole in someone’s life that they didn’t have much contact with. Holes, not only in the lives of their loved ones, but even some people with whom they have come in contact with. Since now our contact base is huge through social media, this hole may never be filled. Copycats create more holes.
We must remember that God created us uniquely and wonderfully in His image. (Psalm 139:13-16; Genesis 1:27) Sometimes when someone is delusional in a manic episode, they forget that. They think they are God. Psychosis creates that false reality. and then the hole happens, a hole in their church community, their pastor, church leaders, family, friends, and children that are in their life. Survivors can be devastated by this.
The most important thing to hold onto is that you are immensely important in people's lives, even though you can be a great burden. God has put people in your life to help keep you here. God commands that we bear each other’s burdens. Sometimes it’s hard for you to burden other people. Sometimes you don’t want to disappoint. Remember you aren’t replaceable.
These holes never fill. It may affect generations. So remember, God made us all unique. He made you wonderful; He made you in His image. He loves you. He provides for you. And He is with you, even during these manic states where you feel like you are some kind of god or superhero that knows all the answers: I” can fix everything,” and your language or lexicon is running 1000 miles an hour. It’s kinda like your tongue is just beating up people around you because you can’t even follow the madness that has engulfed your thoughts, your tongue, and your movements. Don’t become a hole.
Why has suicide rate greatly increased? The church is not obeying God calling for His church. Instead the church is being distracted by worldliness. We can’t transform others, only God’s saving grace through His Son’s death and resurrection.
“There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.”