Suffering

Photo: Franco Antonio Giovanella

The Wednesday before Christmas, I had a procedure intended to relieve my ear fullness. I had tubes put in my eardrums. For the past several years, I have been suffering with hearing loss and ear fullness. This procedure went well but my hearing got worse. I felt like I had ear muffles on. 

For me, hearing loss has been a struggle worse than Bipolar or Aspergers. It is an invisible disability like my other diagnosis but much more isolating. Many public spaces are not designed around acoustics. Noise levels become intolerable. I can hear all the things around me but not the person sitting next to me. I always try to sit with a wall behind me. It helps with the ambient noise levels.  People don’t speak loud enough after being asked to speak up.  

Since my hearing has gotten worse, I have become discouraged and depressed. I feel very isolated even in a room full of my family. I spent Christmas day at my sister’s. Sitting at the kitchen counter, I could hear the faint sounds from her bread maker but not my mom talking to me. People get frustrated because I can’t hear them. Although ears are a small part of your body, they greatly impact your life if they are not functioning properly.  

I am recovering slowly. My ENT prescribed oral antibiotics on top of ear drops. The past few days I have been sick with sinus congestion, but I can feel the medication helping. I guess living with this fluid build-up for many years, it will take some time to drain out. I do get infections easily, especially Staphylococcus-based. I believe I am on the way to recovery. I am hoping to gain 10 db of hearing level. When someone asks you to speak up, please speak clearly and look at them.