Shhh…
Suicide. One of the greatest tragedies and most misunderstood words is suicide. What would compel someone to end their life? We don’t like to talk about suicide, because it is uncomfortable. People whisper after a suicide. People quietly wonder was that sudden death a suicide. People don’t want to hurt the survivors of a suicide. They don’t know what to say. This silence can be deafening.
Suicide. Some believe that suicide is an unforgettable sin. Others believe it is a selfish act. Suicide comes in many ways: a well-planned out act, a spontaneous act, an act of withdrawing, a dangerous reckless act, an intentional overdose, and many more. One thing in common is the victim sees nowhere out other than suicide. Life has become paralyzing, just daily routines become petrified. Numbness and pain are a relentless part of an unimaginably agonizing existence. Sleeping too much or no sleep at all leads to desperation for relief, and the only answer seems to be to end their life.
Suicide. Many living with these unyielding suicidal ideations see no way out. “I know I am loved; I can’t feel it because my mind betrays me. Withdrawing from my community and inching toward completely severing from reality. The appearance of a life fulfilled, but I have a darker reality in my mind. The world fills me with doubt and anguish. Worldly lies become my counterfeit reality, that I am a burden to all around me and I must stop it.”
Suicide. “I wander around in a world full of joy, but my mind is too numb. Living becomes exhausting. It’s like a maze that I cannot escape. This maze is far too complex for me to find my way out. It is made up of joy that I can’t keep and retain. A maze of community that I can’t participant in. Never ending maze where every corner is a dead end.”
Suicide. Active and passive states constitute suicidal methods. Active suicidal methods usually manifest as a well thought out plan to kill yourself. These manifestations are purposeful: overdosing, intentional acts of self-harm, suicide by police, and several other methods. Passive suicide methods are spontaneous overdose, reckless and dangerous behavior, spontaneous acts of self-harm, suicide by police, and other methods.
Suicide. Warning signs are self-isolation, withdrawing from community, change in behaviors such as sleep and/or appetite, and threatening suicide. Today, suicide is on the rise in every age group and gender. The two largest age groups with high rates of suicide are young and elderly. Parents should be very observant of their children’s behaviors and verbalization. Daughters and sons need to be observant of their elderly parents’ living condition and situation. Suicide attempts are on the rise, and they need to be taken seriously. We need be proactive and seek out medical assistance. Suicide is a fatal symptom of many serious mental illnesses and physical conditions like chronic pain.
Suicide. Suicide can be a silent killer, because we don’t want to talk about it. We don’t want to confront it or think about it. I know for me I feel ashamed because, I’m a burden. I am crippled by the fear and shame with living suicidal. Even though, I reach out to others a lot, there are times that I just hide. I want to hide from the suicidal thoughts. I feel shamed for having these thoughts. I have lost my joy, but I have never lost hope in my Savior.
Hope. Thousands of years ago, hope was born in a manger. Jesus took the form of a man and felt all the emotion men feel. He always looked on people with compassion, he did not have empathy for people. Jesus showed and had compassion. His greatest expression of compassion is the cross. He endured immense pain and separation from His Father to cover our sins with His blood. People struggling with suicide can understand this hope if others show them compassion and walk along with them.
Hope. There is hope, because of a risen Savior. I may struggle daily, but my hope is in Him, not the world. God calls us to walk alongside one another, and sometimes it is uncomfortable. As Christians, we should look to the beautiful example of walking along the mentally ill in the relationship of John Newton and William Cowper. William struggled greatly with depression and suicidal thoughts, but John encouraged him. John never told him to pray it away, but he encouraged William to use his talents as a writer to compose hymns and poems for God’s glory. It is amazing that a pastor from the time of the Great Awakening had such an innovative approach to serving a mentally ill person. John lived out Jesus’ compassion.
Hope. There is hope, because of the cross and it covered all. Hope is alive within my struggles, because Jesus died for my sins. Richard Baxter was an English Puritan church leader and hymnodist, who showed his community compassion. He labored for the unconverted and cared for those in despair. Richard encourages us to comfort, teach and bolster all who wrestle with depression. He understood that even those who struggle can be saved by grace. They may feel that their illness prevents this saving grace, but Richard reached out and God worked through him to open their eyes. Richard knew that God’s grace covered all; no illness was too hard for God.
Hope. Jesus was the man of many sorrows. As a man, Jesus felt all the emotions of a man, even depression. He had great anguish before the cross, because He knew the pain of separation from His Father would be immense. Charles Spurgeon felt the darkness of despair. He felt helplessness, but he was honest and compassionate about his struggles. Charles encouraged others to be gentle and patient, because they walked in the spirit of Jesus. His struggles with mental anguish were influenced by the anxiety of preaching, failure, fame, loneliness, criticism, and tragedies. He reminded people that we are not the first or only to suffer, many have walked this road before us. Charles helped pull us out of our self-focus and show that we all struggle, but with his words he pulls us back to Jesus. Charles’ devotion to God and his openness about his struggles with depression is a great encouragement to all of us.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
What you can do if you are experiencing suicidal ideations?
1. Call 911.
2. Seek out professional medical help.
3. Seek out support to assist in getting medical help.
4. Don’t be silent.
What can you do to help someone experiencing suicidal ideations?
1. Listen and be supportive.
2. Acknowledge what you can or cannot do.
3. Know where to turn for profession help.
4. Don’t be silent.
Before a crisis, set up a plan with your support community. Don’t be afraid, be open and honest with your community.